June 24, 2010. A less than stunning turn out from the Mighty SDC for Operation Area51 Freedom included Jimbo84, ... more(+)
June 24, 2010. A less than stunning turn out from the Mighty SDC for Operation Area51 Freedom included Jimbo84, TalonGrundy, StarGlider, Bearback, GlenJames and M31intheMule. A surprise but welcome addition was Sm***sh who was traveling incognito to avoid further identity theft. Everyone was calling him Double Naught. StarGlider and Jimbo84 had picked him up just outside of El Paso three days before.
Using his Double Naught training and special powers Sm***sh converged with Cacti, melded with Mesquite and blended in with many a fence post as he crossed the border and made his way unseen to a rest area just outside of El Paso. Sm***sh slipped into the back seat while StarGlider and Jiimbo84 were inside using the facilities. The two men got back into the vehicle without noticing Sm***sh.
“I wish he’d hurry up,” StarGlider whined. “How long we gotta wait on him anyways?”
“Just relax, StarGlider, he’ll be here.”
“Oh alright. Say, did you really get a personal examination of Quantumnumeralbabe’s breastages?”
“Nah, that was just thread talk…”
“Will you two quit blathering and let’s get going? Or do I have to hitchhike to Las Vegas?”
“Smer…” the two men wheeled around, surprised.
“QUIET you fools! I’m incognito. Should anyone suspect I’m here I could lose my identity again and this time I’ll lose my Mother in Law, too! That would be more than any mere mortal could bear. Call me Double Naught.”
“But…” StarGlider was puzzled. “Most men dream of losing their Mothers in Law.”
“You haven’t seen his Mother in Law! Wow!” Jimbo84 jumped in. “Let’s get going, I’ll tell you all about her on the way to Vegas.” StarGlider hit the gas and the car shot onto the Freeway.
Three days later the intrepid group meet at Jimbo84s hotel. Piling everything including themselves into 3 vehicles they headed of towards the dreaded Area51. Two hours later they see the sign! It says: “AREA51 – Top Secret Alien Device Storage and Retro-engineering Facility, EXIT HERE.” The cars turn off and pass a couple of souvenir shops and a gas station. The gas station sign says; “Last gas for ? Miles.” The view from the road quickly becomes bleak and barren.
A few miles later they arrive at the border of Area51 land. Pulling off the road, they begin to set up for a night of UFO watching.
“It’ll be dark in about an hour, so we got plenty of time,” said TalonGrundy as he took a cooler out of his car. Suddenly, 2 vans pull up and WhiskeyResupplyDude jumps out along with half a dozen other West Coast SDCers. They begin unloading 4 large kegs of beer.
“Hey everyone, its time to party!” WhiskeyResupplyDude calls out to replies of “Hello and Welcome.”
Jimbo84 looks around. “This turned out pretty goo… what the…?!?
“Toot! Toot!” Went the horn of the Chartreuse Microbus as it pulled in. Out piled AsteroidWayne, RubyredSUV, SingleHelix, KellyArcade, YawnDad and Mental Defender!
“Hey everyone, got room for a few more?”
“Heck Yeah!” Everyone called out. “The more the merrier!”
“We left DocBruceWayne minding the store,” AsteroidWayne said. “Plus, I’ve got this.” He pulled out a laptop and opened it up. “Yes! I knew there would be reception here, even Aliens need the internet these days.”
“Dang,” Jimbo84 exclaimed. “This really turned out grea… What the heck…!”
Up pulled a large bus and out piled EarthyXY, GalacticZen, Schmuck42, TB,rc and a host of other SDCers picked up along the way.
“We’re here, make room for us.” EarthyXY cried.
Just when everyone thought the bus was empty, out stepped Quantumnumeralbabe! Her bountiful breasts quivered as time stood still. The wind blew through her hair…
“Quantumnumeralbabe…” all the guys breathed.
TB,rc reached over and smacked her in the back of the head, breaking the spell.
“Jimbo84,” Quantumnumeralbabe called as she walked up to one man and threw her arms around him. “You’ve grown a little fuzz on top, but I’d recognize you anywhere.” She gave him a big kiss.
“I ah…well ah… I’m StarGlider, dear. Jimbo84 is over there,” StarGlider pointed to Jimbo84.
“Oh,” She looked where he pointed. “OH!” She leaned over and whispered into StarGlider’s ear.
“You were right, his avatar does look better!” She reached out and pinched StarGlider’s cheek. “You’re cute,” she winked at him. “I’ll see you later tonight.” Quantumnumeralbabe turned to go to Jimbo84. StarGlider witnessed the time dilation effect from behind her as her flowing hair slapped him in the face! TB,rc stepped up behind her and smacked the back of her head. StarGlider laughed and TB,rc turned to him. “It’s a tough job, but somebody’s got to do it!”
Several of SDCers carried musical instruments and KellyArcade ran and got her guitar from the Microbus. WhiskeyResupplyDude pulled an amplifier and a couple of large speakers from the back of one van.
“I had a feeling these would come in handy.” Soon everyone was hooked up and the place started Rocking!
“A media van pulled up and out stepped GalacticFunChick with a film crew. “I’m here to document the first ever Operation Area51 Freedom. Everyone keep partying!”
Driving by on the main highway, Mick called to the back of the tour bus. “Hey, someone open a window.” Keith complied and music was heard. Looking out they could just make out a large crowd. “Sounds like a party out ‘ere in the middle of noplace. Lets go check it out.” He took the next exit and soon the tour bus for the Strolling Bones arrived at Operation Area51 Freedom.
“Hey,” Keith looked around at the crowd they had found. “It’s a buncha old geezers and a few babes. Heck, some of these old geezers are even older than we are!”
“You amateurs are doing a great job,” Mick interjected. “But let a few pro’s into the gig, would ya?” The Strolling Bones brought their own equipment and added it to what was already there. Pretty soon the hills were shaking with the sounds of great old Classic Rock.
Night had fallen. The food was gone and all manner of beer and booze was flowing freely as well as copious amounts of weed. During a break in the music, Mick walked through the crowd. He spied a gorgeous woman and heads towards Quantumnumeralbabe. Just before reaching her, Mick spies someone else.
“Hey Double Knot! How ya doin’”
“That’s Double Naught.” Sm***sh cringed.
“It’s what I said. Of course I spy the best lookin’ babe in the mix and you’d be standing next to her.”
“A man has a reputation to uphold…”
In another spot, AsteroidWayne is busy on his laptop and muttering to himself.
“Merge these… delete that… and out you go!” His fingers fly over the keyboard.
“Here AsteroidWayne,” Jimbo84 hands the man a beer. “And one more thing,” Jimbo84 pours his beer all over the laptop! Sparks flew as the entire screen sizzled! AsteroidWayne throws the laptop away just in time!
KABOOM! And the laptop is gone.
“Now you can start having some real fun.” Jimbo84 smiles.
“But I WAS having fun,” AsteroidWayne whines.
Unnoticed by all, a bright light slowly rises high into the night sky. It stops as it reaches a few light, patchy clouds and slips in behind them. To those on the ground it looks like the moon, so everyone ignores it.
The Strolling Bones equipment guy gets the lights equipment hooked up and suddenly the music is accompanied by a laser light show.
“Phasers set to minimum power level and maximum luminosity.” The Commander of the UFO orders. “We can participate in this light show too!”
“Wow, this is the best light show I can ever remember us putting on,” Mick said into the mike during one song. Everyone looked up. “Hey, some of that is coming from the moon!”
“That can’t be the moon,” AsteroidWayne insisted. “The moon couldn’t possibly be in that quadrant of the sky!”
Everyone gasped as the “moon” fired more beams in total synchronization with the laser show. Suddenly, the music and lights stopped.
“They’re on to us,” one of the alien crew cried.
“Yes. Turn off the lights and take us back to Area51, full speed. NOW!”
To all below, the ‘moon’ suddenly shot downward at immense speed just as the illumination went out. It looked like a soundless streak of light that just disappeared. A sonic boom washed over the crowd and all listened for the sound of something crashing into the desert or engines decelerating or something! But nothing else was seen or heard.
“Oh my, do you know what that was?” Bearback asked.
“Yes, I know,” AsteroidWayne answered, shaking his head. “It was a… It was a…” AsteroidWayne threw himself on the ground, kicking and beating the ground with his fists.
“I can’t say it… I just… can’t…”
Jimbo84 knelt and placed a comforting hand upon his friend’s shoulder. “I’ll say it for you. It was a real, bonifide, honest to God UFO. And everybody got pictures of it, including GalacticFunChick in her documentary!”
The first ever Operation Area51 Freedom gathering lasted 3 days! It was the beginning of an annual Operation Area51 Freedom Folk and Rock Festival that would begin on June 24th every year.
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