FBI headquarters. Assistant Director Skinner is telling the agents (the real agents, that is) about a bombing at Christ Church; fortunately no one was hurt. It’s not immediately clear, even to Mulder, why this is an X-File.

In the back of the room, a Hollywood writer/producer named Wayne takes notes and talks to himself. He's a friend of Skinner, who's given him permission to observe the agents working. He's loud, but promises them he won’t be in their way -- he'll be "Heisenbergian, a hologram," he says, with garbled physics.

The agents and Wayne go to Christ Church and meet Cardinal O'Fallon, a powerful figure who could even become the first American pope. The Cardinal takes them to the bombed crypt, which is normally used for storage as "God's refrigerator" but now surprisingly contains a corpse.

After seeing bones dance in the crypt, Wayne takes a momentary leave of absence. Scully thinks he hallucinated. She's reminded of the Lazarus Bowl, which a nun nicknamed "Sister Spooky" told her about in school. Its grooves supposedly contain a recording of Christ's spoken words.

Scully takes a bowl from the crypt to a technician. His acoustic analysis reveals unearthly chanting.

Mulder asks the Cardinal about forged documents from the crypt. The Cardinal admits he thought they were real and -- since they indicate Jesus had a romantic interest in Mary Magdalene -- he'd kept them under wraps, so others wouldn’t have to share his despair. But he didn’t try to blow them up, he pointedly adds.

The agents and Wayne talk on cell phones. The "Skin Man," as Wayne calls his friend, is keeping him informed. A movie is going to be made. Shandling as Mulder. Leoni as Scully. Richard Gere as Skinner.

Scully performs an autopsy of the crypt corpse. Disturbingly, it stands up and chats with her. Then it's dead again. Was it a hallucination? Mulder arrives to say he thinks the Cardinal poisoned Hoffman.

Christ Church. Mass. The agents arrive to arrest the Cardinal. They are going to wait till mass is over to allow him some dignity, but a statue of Christ comes alive, prompting Scully to step up the timetable.

But just as they're about to arrest the Cardinal, Micah Hoffman shows up. He's not dead.

Skinner's office. He's angry at the misidentification of the corpse, likening it to someone mistaking him for Marilyn Monroe, and orders the agents to leave the Cardinal and Hoffman alone.

The acoustic technician has discovered that the chanting on the bowl is not only Aramaic for "I am the Walrus" but an invocation to raise the dead.

The agents confront Hoffman, who claims that, after forging documents and pretending to be Christ, he actually became Christ and therefore had to destroy the forged documents. Hence the bombing.

Later, Scully asks Mulder if it's possible this really is Christ. Mulder says no.

The agents are on forced leave for four weeks, so they go to Hollywood to watch the filming. They meet the actors. Shandling and Mulder discuss how the agent wears his trousers.

A vegetarian "zombie" disgustedly finds that biting Tea's shoulder leaves him with a mouthful of turkey.

The agents and Skinner talk on cell phones. They're each in a bubble bath. They have "gone Hollywood."

Mulder theorizes that zombies don’t just attack and eat people, but also party and have fun.

Scully thinks both Tea and Garry are interested in Mulder.

Sixteen months later. Mulder, Scully and Skinner watch a black-tie screening of the movie. Mulder is upset at his portrayal, especially a scene in which "Scully" rejects him for "Skinner." Mulder walks out.

Scully later finds him outside. She says Hoffmann and the Cardinal are dead in a murder-suicide. Mulder is still upset about the movie, which has so much wrong. He notes that the villain is called "Cigarette Smoking Pontiff."

After the agents leave, the dead rise and have a party.